


Oops/Hi

by RioRiley



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cancer, Caretaking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 21:01:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16395029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RioRiley/pseuds/RioRiley
Summary: The one where Louis has cancer. And hes a stubborn son of a gun, so he chooses not to tell Harry about it. But then ultimateky asks Harry to take him home, in his last few days. Not a feel good fic, but hopefully a good read.





	Oops/Hi

**Author's Note:**

> Reminder: this here is a Larry Stylinson fic. If you dont ship #Bullshit theb do not proceed.

“Hello? Is this Mister Harry Styles?” It's three in the morning, Los Angeles time, when the british woman calls, from a phone number Harry doesn't recognize, and he is beyond frustrated. There are a million things going through his mind, why would someone call this early in the morning, how has this random woman gotten his phone number? He assumes that someone sold it to her. Back in the one direction days, he would get calls all the time, from women who had bought their numbers, or done some sort of dirty favor for a member of management, and gotten the numbers as a reward. Harry sits up in bed, and takes a deep breath.

“This is.” Harry says with a frustrated yawn.

The woman takes in a deep breath of her own. “Sorry for the hour sir. My name is Piper, and I'm calling from The Doncaster Royal infirmary. We have a patient here, Mr. Louis Tomlinson, and you are listed as his emergency contact.” The woman, Piper, says.

“Is he alright?” Harry asks, suddenly much more awake than moments before.

"I've been asked to arrange for you to accompany Mr. Tomlinson back to his home." Piper says. "Its urgent, Mr. Styles."

"Define urgent" Harry prods.

“Mr Tomlinson is in the final stages of his cancer.” Piper says sympathetically. "He's only got days left and has requested to go home, with you."

“Cancer?” Harry asked, alarmed, but knowing it's exactly what the woman has said. 

As it turns out, Louis has lung cancer. He's had it for almost a year, gone through surgery, and various treatments, and even after going through all that, Louis is still dying. The tumors are growing and spreading. The treatments aren't working. There is absolutely nothing that they can do for Louis anymore.Harry has been called, to take Louis home so that he can die. 

Harry hates that all of these things have happened to Louis and he didn't even know about it. He wonders why Louis wouldn't have told him. Why he would keep a secret like that. Why he would want to fight alone.

Harry parks his range rover in the parking lot at the hospital, and sits in it for a while before gaining the courage to go inside the hospital. When he does, he follows a kind, heavy black woman from reception, into an elevator. They ride it to the third floor of the hospital, labeled for oncology, and from there he follows her to a room right across from the nurse station, before stopping.

“I think you need to prepare yourself for what you are going to see in there, Mr. Styles. Louis is very sick. But you need to be positive, don't let him know you are scared.” The woman says. Harry nods, taking in several deep breaths before knocking on, and then opening, the door. 

Louis is inside, asleep, which is a bit of a relief. It gives Harry a more genuine chance to adjust. He looks like shit. He's skinny. Skinnier than should be humanly possible. Harry can clearly see every bone on Louis’ body that hasn't been covered by the generic white hospital blankets. There are wires everywhere, and Harry can clearly see the outline of a catheter bag, near Louis’ feet. His eyes are sunken in, with deep, grey, bags underneath them. And his hair is all gone. Harry suspects that there isn't a hair left anywhere on Louis body.

Harry takes the seat next to Louis’ bed, just as he begins to stir. Harry, without so much as thinking, moves quickly, and hugs Louis.

“Mus’ be pretty bad if you're here.” Louis says quietly, and dryly. Harry does nothing but nod.

“Louis I'm sorry.” Harry says quietly.

“You don't have to be sorry. It's nobody's fault. Shit happens.” Louis says, content.

“I could have been here for you. You didn't have to do this by yourself. No one should have to do this by themselves.” Harry says.

“I couldn't stand the idea of you seeing me like this Harry. I didn't want to put you through watching me suffer. I didn't want you to have to watch me with all of the side effects. I wanted you to be able to remember me the way I was, not the way I have become.” Louis says.

“You told the other guys didn't you?” Harry suspects. “Liam, and Niall?”

Louis nods. 

“Why didn't you tell me Louis?” Harry says

“I didn't want to distract you. You were having the time of your life, and I couldn't live with myself knowing i had messed that up.” Louis whispers, admitting his genuine feelings.

“I would have been here for you. You didn't have to do this alone.” Harry says honestly.

“That's the problem. I didn’t want you to drop everything and rush to me now because of this. I wanted you to just keep going. I didn't want to get in the way of the amazing life you are making for yourself.” Louis says. “Why are you here, Harry?” He asks

“The hospital called, and asked me to take you home.” Harry says honestly, and quietly.

“Well shit. I guess this is it. I'm really dying now!” Louis says with a laugh.

“It's not funny. And you aren't dying Louis. You're going to be okay.” Harry says. Louis shakes his head, with a sad smile. 

“Haz, I've tried everything. It's not working. Hasn't worked for weeks.” Louis admits, before coughing. His cough is dry, hoarse and scary. Harry grabs him a glass of water from his bedside table, Louis smiles, before drinking a few sips. “I'm ready to go home Harry.”

Harry nods. “How long?” He asks

“Soon.” Louis says, with a sad smile. They both know it will be sooner than either of them want.

Harry gathers all of Louis’ things into his car, as a nurse helps Louis to change his clothes. Then Harry pushes Louis, in the wheelchair he depends on, outside of the hospital. Louis takes in a deep, shaky, breath. 

“This is the first time I've been outside in two months.” He says, proud of the accomplishment. Harry smiles sadly, rubbing Louis’ shoulder. He supports the majority of Louis’ weight, as he gets into Harry's car, and then Harry shuts the door before sitting in the drivers side.

He looks over at Louis, his face is turned up to catch the rays of sunlight that warm him through the car window. Harry puts his hand on Louis’ knee, and takes Louis home. He is taking him home, to die. It's a cruel task, and one Harry wishes wasn't his task to complete, but something Harry knows he can't take lightly. He doesn't want to take it lightly. He just wants to be here, with Louis, for as long as he can. 

He looks over at him again, “Let's get you out of here, Tomlinson.” They both smile, as Harry drives them out of the hospital parking lost, and the several miles it takes to get to Louis’ home. When they get there, Harry helps Louis out of the car, and into his home. 

Louis naps for a while after hes home. He says over and over again, how good it is to be back home, in his own bed. Harry meanwhile, has phone calls to make. He calls Liam first, and doesn't even bother to say hello.

“Liam, why didn't you tell me about Louis?” Harry asks

“Harry how do you know?” Liam asks.

“The hospital called me to come and bring him home. He's dying Liam, and he didn't even tell me.” Harry says, frustrated.

“Harry, I wanted to tell you. But Louis didn't want you to know, and I couldn't deny him of that.” Liam says. “He wasn't alone though, I promise I was with him.”

“How bad was it? The past few months, how bad?” Harry asks.

“It was hard.” Liam says.

Liam was the first person that Louis called when he found out he was sick. At the time, Liam had been doing the sound check for his solo show in Tokyo. But within minutes of the call, Liam told his manager that he was cancelling his show, and catching the next flight home. Liam doesn't leave him after that, for months. He's there, in the waiting room at the clinic after each of Louis’ chemotherapy treatments. He's there through radiation. Liam is the one to shave Louis’ head, when the chemo makes his hair fall out. He's there through the surgeries, when the doctors tried to cut out the tumors. Ultimately they couldn't remove any of them because they were attached to several important blood vessels. Liam was there as the doctors continued to try and treat Louis. He was there as Louis started getting even sicker. He was there when Louis had him pull over when driving him home after an appointment, son that he could throw up on the side of the highway. Liam was there weeks later as he drove Louis back to the hospital, because he had been coughing up blood. That was when they found out that the cancer had spread to his lymph nodes. Louis had been in the hospital ever since, getting worse and worse.

Liam was there, as Louis explained to him that he wanted to go home. That he knew he wasn't going to be around much longer, and he didn't want to spend His time in a hospital. Liam didn't expect Louis to want to go home with Harry. That was a shock to say the least. In the beginning of his disease, knowing he wouldn't make it, Louis didn't want to tell Harry. His plan was to slowly fade away, and die, without telling Harry a thing. And he kept with that plan, right up until the end when he realised how cruel it was. 

He realised that it was unfair to keep a secret like that from someone that he had had feelings for since the day he met him. He realises it wasn't his place to decide that Harry couldn't handle seeing him this way. It wasn't fair for him to put the guilt that doing it would to him. 

“How is he?” Liam asks

“Liam, the hospital asked me to take him home. They are sending over hospice nurses.” Harry says bluntly.

“It won't be long than Harry. How is he feeling?” Liam asks

“He says hes okay.” Harry says quietly.

“You can't always believe him on that Haz. Hell try to hide it from you, you know that, just try to make him comfortable.” Liam says. “Can I come over? It's been a couple weeks since i saw him.” 

“Give me a couple days with him.” Harry says quietly.

“Sure thing. Don't leave anything unsaid Harry. You don't want to regret anything with him.” Liam says.

“Yeah. I know.” Harry says quietly.

“I love you Harry. I'm here for you. Call if you need anything.” Liam says.

Harry walks up the stairs into Louis’ room, and sits down in the chair next to his bed. He looks At Louis. He looks so much smaller than usual. It's heartbreaking, and Harry doesn't know what on earth he is going to do, or how he is supposed to watch Louis die. He doesn't know how he is supposed to act. He knows not to pretend everything is going to be okay, Louis isn't going to get better, and he's going to die soon. He doesn't want to regret anything with Louis, but he doesn't know how to tell Louis the things he knows he needs to say. That he loves him. He always has. 

Harry scrolls through his phone, skimming through various websites on caregiving, and instinctively reaching over, and laying his left hand onto Louis’ right hand. He reads through websites, that beg him to be present, and comes to the conclusion, that as long as he does his best with Louis, he can't go wrong. As long as Harry is able to recognize when Louis is uncomfortable, he can have a nurse come in to relieve him. He knows, that all Louis wants is to be with him. That's why he was asked to come. 

Louis wakes up a few hours later. His eyes are tired. He looks like he hasn't even slept. His skin has taken on less of a bright color. It's not quite grey, but certainly not normal. Louis looks at Harry and smiles.

“Lou, we gotta talk.” Harry says with a sad smile.

“I know we do.” Louis says quietly.

“Louis, I'm gay, and I think you know that, I mean it's pretty obvious, but I don't know if you know, that I really loved you, and I don't want you to go without knowing that.” Harry says quickly.

“I knew. I loved you too Harry. I still love you.” Louis whispers.

“Why didn't you say so?” Harry asks.

“I don't think either of us were ready for it. I know lots of people wanted us to be together, and I think that deep down both of us wanted to be together. But we weren't ready. And I didn't want to feel forced out of the closet, I certainly didn't want to shove you out if you weren't ready.” Louis says.

“Are you ready now?” Harry asks.

“Well the timing sure isn't great.” Louis says with a soft laugh. Harry nods. “But that doesnt mean I dont want it.” 

They kiss. It's not the first time they have done it, but it's the first time they have done it, both on the same terms, knowing they feel the way they do for each other. Knowing that it's okay. That they don't have to pretend to be straight. They can kiss here. They can love each other, for as long as possible.

"Have you talked to Zayn?" Harry asks sincerely.

Louis nods. "We talked for a long time. Worked things out. I didn't want to die with him thinking i still hated him." Louis says.

"So you don't hate him?" Harry clarifies.

"No. He needed to do what was best for him, and He did what he thought was best. I night not agree, but I'm trying to understand. And I'm trying to be supportive." Louis says 

Harry makes himself dinner, Louis isn't hungry, and then he climbs into bed with Louis, and cuddles him while they watch one of Louis’ favorite films, Forrest Gump. They lay there, Louis clinging to Harry like a small child. Harry can feel his bones poking him, but he doesn't mind. 

“If life is like a box of chocolates, than i am blessed that I got to have you in mine.” Harry says.

“Which chocolate am I?” Louis asks with a smirk.

“My favorite.” Harry says simply.

“Which is?” Louis prods.

“The dark chocolate covered coconut ones.” Harry says with a smile. “Which am I?”

“You're a chocolate caramel.” Louis says. “Because everyone loves you, but in the end only one person gets you.” 

“I'm glad you were the one.” Harry says.

“Don't be silly curly. I've only had a nibble of you. Someone else, man or woman, I don't care, will have to come along and snatch up the rest of you.” Louis says. “I'm sure i can pick out someone very good for you.” He says wiggling what would be his eyebrows if he had any hair.

“Are you scared?” Harry asks.

“Of dying?” Louis asks. Harry nods quickly and glumly. “No. I have a lot to thank the big guy for. I know I'll be okay.” 

Later on that night, they spend a good amount of time looking at one another's tattoos. They trace over each one, telling all the stories that inspired them, even the ones they are both familiar with. Louis laughs when he finally touches Harry's “Hi” tattoo.

“Do you remember when we met?” Louis asks. “You pissed on me by mistake.” He laughs hysterically.

“I'm a lucky man that you were still willing to speak to me shortly after.” Harry laughs.

Louis has Lottie over for breakfast the next morning. Harry had suggested he invite the rest of his siblings but Louis refused, as he didn't want them to see him when he was looking this bad. He had seen all of them less than a month ago, but he felt that he had deteriorated enough since then that he would frighten them, and that was the last thing that he wanted. Harry made waffles, for the three of them, amd Louis even ate a couple bites of them. 

Louis and Lottie spent the next few hours talking. They talked about growing up. Lottie reminded Louis that whenever Lou had been mad at her growing up, he would turn on Jurassic Park to scare her. Eventually she grew to love the film, and acknowledged it as being one of her favorites. Lottie curled into her older brother, letting him hold her on the couch, while Harry say nearby, taking a few photos, while the other two weren't looking. Louis played with Lotties beautiful blonde hair, running his fingers through it, and tying it in horribly done braids. 

When it came time for Lottie to leave, she wept, knowing that this would be the last time she saw her big brother. He kisses her forehead, telling her how much he loves her. 

“You're my hero Lou.” Lottie says with a heartbroken smile.

“I love you Lottie.” Louis says quietly as he hugs her. She hugs him tightly, not wanting to let go, knowing that this goodbye, is forever.

“Promise me something?” Lottie asks, louis nods his head. “Tell mom Hello for me? Tell her i loved her, and i miss her.”

“Of course Lottie. Of course I'll do that.” Louis saus, walking his little sister to the door. “But I hope you know that she knew. She knew you loved her. You worshipped her, and appreciated her for everything she ever was and she loved you more than anything Lott.”

Harry leads Louis back to the couch, after the door has shut.

“You'll take care of her, yeah?” Louis asks.

“Promise.” Harry says honestly. Louis coughs, and when he takes his hand from covering his mouth, it's covered in blood. Harry helps Louis to clean it off, before insisting he take some pain relievers.

“Always figured I'd walk her down the aisle someday.” Louis says with a heartbroken laugh.

“I'll do it if she wants.” Harry says, wrapping his arms around Louis’ waist. “Of course I will.”

Louis smiles, wrapping his hands around Harry's. “You gotta make sure she ends up with a decent fellow too. Make sure he's well aware that if he breaks her heart I'll go full on poltergeist on him.” Louis says I'm an attempt to sound threatening.

“Oh I'll make him fear your wrath for sure.” Harry giggles. 

“You ready for another nap?” He asks. Louis nods, and Harry picks him up, holding him like a groom would hold a bride, and taking him into the bedroom, and for the first time, in this entire God awful situation, Harry breaks down crying. He'd been trying real hard not to cry, especially not in front of Louis, but in the end, he doesn't have the strength to control his emotions.

Harry lays on his side, turned so that Louis can't see His face. Louis runs his back, focusing on the knots in his shoulders.

“Talk to me Harry.” Louis begs. Harry shakes his head. His entire body shakes with sobs.

“It's just not fair Louis!” Harry cries out, filled with anger and sincere pain. “We spent most of our lives hiding! And now we finally have the opportunity to act on how we feel, and I only get to love you for a few days before you… go? It's fucked up.” Harry cries.

“Look at me Harry.” Louis says calmly, comfortingly. Harry turns his entire body to face Louis. Louis isn't crying. He doesn't even look sad. The idiot is smiling.

“I love you Harry.” Louis says, he takes in a deep breath. “Do you know what I love about you Harry? You have this incredible capacity to love everyone regardless of circumstance. That's why everyone always loved you most. Because you loved everyone in return for loving you. When I met you, I was an asshole, I was far too opinionated for my own good. I cared so much, about what other people thought of me, that i allowed them to prohibit me from dating you. I let them hurt you Harry. I could have kept you safe but instead I let the media do and say whatever they wanted to you. But you still took every chance you could to tell people how much you loved me. It made me feel important Harry. And it sucks that this is how it all ends for me, but don't you think for a moment that these last few days were all you got to love me, because we both know that's a load of shit. We've loved each other since the beginning Harry, and I intend on loving you forever.” Louis says with a weak smile, he grabs Harry's hand, much larger than his own, and places it on his chest.

“Feel that, Harold?” Louis says with a sarcastic laugh. Harry nods. “I'm still here. I'm not gone yet. And as long as I'm here, you gotta promise to be honest with me.” Louis says.

“I promise.” Harry says instinctively.

“I know watching this happen is and will be hard for you. You don't need to sugarcoat it. “ Louis says. “I know you are hurting too, and just because you aren't the one dying doesn't mean your pain isn't valid too.” Louis says, Harry nods in agreement. “I want to be able to help you, babe.” After that, Louis falls asleep, cuddled against Harry.

Liam and Niall come over the next morning to say their goodbyes. Louis can't seem to stay awake for more than ten minutes at a time, and Harry knows he's in a lot of pain even though he refuses to take his medication. He says the medications make him feel out of it, and that he wants to be present when he's with his family. He doesn't want anyone's last conversation with him to be loopy on his end. He's far too considerate for his own good, Harry thinks.

Niall is good to Louis. He doesn't tip toe around him, or treat him like he's fragile. But at the same time he doesnt pretend that nothing is wrong. He's just honest, and there for him. He's just Niall. And Louis is forever greatful. Niall brings his copy of Fifa, and they all play together. Niall is good not to let Louis win by pity, while the others, Harry and Liam, are certainly trying to let him win.

"Shouldn't a man be able to win his final game of Fifa?" Liam asks with a friendly laugh.

"Not if the winning isnt honest!" Louis protests with a laugh. 

After the game, the four of them cuddle on Louis' bed, all of them making an effort to touch Louis, to be able to feel that connection to him while they still can. Liam, and Niall are sitting next to him, directly. Niall has a hand on Louis' thigh, and Liam rests his head ever so softly on his shoulder. Harry has his arm across Liams lap, straining to hold Louis' hand. They sit there a long time, not saying much at all. Niall, ever the talkative one, seems to start every short lived conversation.

"Lou, what was your favorite memory with us?" Niall asks at one point.

"The first tour. After we'd made the first album, being able to travel the world, not knowing from place to place if the crowds would like us. It had a magical sense to it for sure. Now you had all best share some of your memories too. Get those words of affirmation in while you still can." Louis says with a smirk.

"I remember getting off the plane in America with you guys for the first time, and feeling like i was on top of the world." Liam says. "Louis I wasn't sure about you when i first met you. We both know that. But I'm so glad that we got along after all, because you've been the best friend I've ever had. Thanks for being there for me Lou. Through it all." Liam says. Louis nods, smiling at Liam, greatful for all that Liam had done for him the past year.

"One of the big ones for me was the first show we did after Zayn left. I remember being so nervous that it wouldnt work and we were doomed to fail, but we made it work. We sounded good as ever. Louis, I remember when we started we were both in the same boat. Niether of us sounded near as good as the other three, and I remember feeling horrible about that, that I wasnt really sibging in my own band. But you just constantly assured me that we were just as important. You carried me through these years Louis. You made me feel important." Niall says. "I'll miss the hell out of ya' " 

"I think the biggest thing for me, was doing my first show as a solo artist, and realising that I didn't want to be up there without you guys. And it was odd for me, because i wanted that solo career, so badly, but i wanted you guys more." Harry says. "I wanted you Louis. I realised how many opportunities I blew off, where if I had taken them, we would have been able to be together."

Harry knows Louis enough to know his signs. He watches him talk to the boys, his voice strained, knuckles gripping tightly at his bedsheets. When the pain gets really bad, he grits his teeth. The worst pain, seems to come when he laughs, which makes sense. Harry knows, that his tears aren't tears of joy. He knows that Louis is in very real pain. 

After the boys have left, Harry goes downstairs, and grabs another movie, Grease, for he and Louis to watch. He makes each of them a cup of tea, before going back upstairs to find Louis in a horrendous state.

Louis is writhing in the built up pain he has been hiding. His body is shaking. He's crying. He's in pure agony, and Harry knows it. Harry calls a nurse over to give Louis some of the effective pain medication. She informs him that there is a good chance, that the medications will make Louis fall asleep, and that he will never wake up. She then exclaims, that she will be to their home, in ten minutes, if Louis wants her to come. Harry looks to Louis. He's shaking even more now, his body releasing all the pain he tried to push aside and ignore while the boys were there. 

Harry exclaims what the nurse has said to Louis, and Louis looks up at Harry, and says barely even coherent, “Yes please.”

Harry gets off the phone, runs downstairs to unlock the front door as the nurse directed him to do, then he runs back upstairs, and climbs into the bed with Louis, holding him. Louis, is in the worst pain he has ever felt in his entire life. His whole body hurts. It aches. His belly is swollen, from organs that have given up on their duties. His muscles ache. His chest feels like it's being electrocuted. He's absolutely miserable.

Harry is kissing Louis, everywhere, over and over again. There's some leftover innocence in him that convinces him that he can kiss Louis better. But no matter how many kisses he gives, nothing changes. 

Louis turns to face Harry, clinging to him, and Harry holds him. A nurse enters the room, and administers an unknown medication to Louis through his port. Within minutes, he starts feeling better, although the pain is still agonizing. Louis is sobbing, in pain, and genuinely afraid of what's to come even though he's never admit it. Harry is still holding him, Louis’ head resting on Harry's chest, and Harry's long arms wrapped around Louis.

“Harry?” Louis asks.

“Yeah babe?” Harry asks.

“I love you Harry.” Louis says with a tired smile. Harry kisses his chapped, dry lips.

“I will love you forever Lou.” Harry looks to the man he has always loved, and says the one word that started everything for them, “Oops.”

“Hi.” Louis says sleepily.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment, feedback. Chew me oit for makiby you feel Larry feels. Whatever. Just comment and tell me if you liked it, deep down inside.


End file.
